Summer's Cauldron

HWÆT!

Hello, dearder, friendo. I hope you read this in good spirit. If so, may it remain so. If not, may it be soon.

Today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen. It was a day of magnificent splendor, in a religious sense of the word.

It has been good times all around, this weekend, as Summer is upon us.

For one thing, my car is finally the cleanest it's been for at-least a year. It had grown full of things I was too lazy to move inside, empty soda/coffee bottles, & mounds of trash (primarily from my work-drive Dunkin bagels).

Then, I experienced the wondrous magical power of a bird. I will not detail further, on account of patient privacy, but I recently transported a bird to work on my drive up. To make space, I had to clean the landfill in my trunk, & when in Rome, decided to clean the rest of my car while I was out there. I filled two whole trash-bags with garbage, another of bottles & cans, & removed many things which didn't need to stay in my car. I must say, it feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders (& Carson's).

Yesterday was the Summer solstice, the longest day of the year. It was my sibling's birthday, as well as the day of the Pride Parade & festivities in Portland, which I attended with my friends. I wore one of my new Green Man t-shirts, with my various adornments. The image on the shirt is the same as the plaque I bought at Enchantment's in Boothbay Harbor, designed by Neopagan writer, speaker, & religious-leader, Oberon Zell-Ravenheart.

My Green Man, atop deer antlers, à la Cernunnos

A classic bathroom pic. My belt is a hole or two too small; I intend to drive more through it.

I think I looked quite dapper, if I do say so (& I do).

Of late, I've been in a treacherously low lull of depression; the worst it's been for quite some time. I have not been truly all that happy for a while, & it waxes & wanes.

But please, lovely one, do not fret. I am turning a new leaf. Things are well & good.

For one thing, I've been working-out. Even with just the small bit I've done within the past few weeks, the changes are noticeable. I've lost over ten pounds (I understand it's typical to lose a greater amount when you start, before it peters-out). My muscles are more prominent, my arms are beefier (it's almost becoming harder to wear my coppers). My tummy has somewhat reduced (everything I eat goes right to my gut; it's a genetic trait).

More to the point, I feel much better, more energetic & vital. I have not been in great shape, to the point I could barely perform simple tasks without becoming strained of breath.

On that note, I have quit smoking, & I think it's for-good this time (except for, perhaps, the occasional social cig). As it's grown hotter & more humid, I'd found my breathing the worst it's been, ever, & a great aching of my chest: horrible feelings. Just in this week or so without cigs, I feel so much better. I am using the Vuse vape, for now, but I'm on the last pod, & I don't intend to get more. The mere thought of smoking now makes me feel ill.

Yesterday was fun, with the friends in the big(ger) city. The Pride parade was nice, & it was a nice day, & we had a good time, even if we had to cut our night on the town short without staying at Arcadia, & return to Lewiston. We still had a fun evening, playing games as we always do.

Funny graffiti on the Maine State Pier

And then, there was today.

I went to Gardiner to buy a sick-ass unicorn mirror from Facebook Marketplace ($25; a steal!).

Neigh! (with a magical intonation; ft. Harold the Teeth)

It was a gorgeous day (and hot!), so I couldn't just go back home. As I adore, I went for a drive (after getting a Subway sandwich in Gardiner. My standard order: footlong on Italian herb & cheese bread, with steak & cheddar toasted, salt 'n peppah, & a little bit of spinach).

I had a few ideas of what to do. I thought about going to Belfast, or Rockland, or to Bailey Island to visit Land's End (the beach & the shop), or to go to Boothbay Harbor to shop at the wonderful Enchantment's & see the water. The store was closed, as it's Sunday (well, now 12:20 AM on Monday), so I decided to go to Pemaquid Point Light, where I'd never been before.

The drive was very pleasant, despite the fact my car's A/C hasn't ever worked as long as I've had it, & it was quite hot & humid. Some sort of coil is broken, which I found-out at the end of last Summer when it wasn't worth fixing, & it's not worth fixing now since I plan on getting a new car, soon. But, it is difficult, & it will be worse as it's supposed to get over 100° F on Tuesday. I don't work, thankfully, so will likely stay home & work on my room.

Per reckoning of the AirBuds app, I listened to Washing Machine Heart by Mitski seven times today (although I think it was actually even more, & often sev'ral timez in a row. I listened to some of my other favorite Summer-day driving tunes: Siberian Khatru by Yes, Summer's Cauldron & Grass by XTC, Bad Habit & Dark Red by Steve Lacy, Glue by P.H.F., The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience, Sunshine Superman by Donovan, (Nothing But) Flowers by Talking Heads, Tales of Brave Ulysses, SWLABR, Sunshine Of Your Love, & I Feel Free by Cream. Leaving Subway, I queued Fascination Street by The Cure, as it was playing inside the store. Then, for most of the drive, I listened to albums by the British metal band Green Lung. After leaving Pemaquid, I queued Pact with Lucifer by Coven, Sweet Leaf & War Pigs by Black Sabbath, The Ghoul & some songs from the album Lightning In A Bottle by Pentagram.

Bobby Liebling of 'Pentagrm' during a performance of "The Ghoul"

I always have my windows down (accustomed even on the coldest Winter night's, on account of smoking). I love the fresh-air & wind in my long curls. Messy hair is a sign of a life lived right.

It was good being out-&-about on my own. I am well in solitude, although it can be lonely without companionship.

Pemaquid Point is spectacular. I intend to spend much time there. I sat at a picnic-table, did some writing, ate my sandwich while I read Issue #4 of Hwæt!Zine (Witchraft & Cunning-Folk), then did some more writing in Book #2 of my journal-series, Gnosis Gnotes, Myriad Mindings, & the Genitals of Iandus.

I've conceived a new story-idea. The other evening, I was on one of my standard drives along River Road/Ferry Road in town (despite being the same thoroughfare continuum, one, for some reason, becomes the other along the sharp bend by the riverside).

Technically, I was only ever on Ferry Road, as when I came upon said bend, I noticed lights strobing through the fog onto the side of that strange, rectangular building at Bell Farms. A polizeiwagen was parked horizontally across the road, blocking passage, so I pulled into the driveway of the farm to turn-around.

Ahead was a very large tow-truck. This wasn't your piddly AAA taxi, but a great industrial behemoth of a vehicle. It was large, in-charge, & it meant business. It stowed a pickup-truck, whose front was smashed, & whose blinker remained on, indicating an apparently ill-fated turn at that treacherous bend. I hope whomever was involved is okay.

The truck began to leave at that very moment, & went the way I had come. I left afterwards, & followed behind as it slowly went back past the orchards & mansions, lights flashing eerily in the mist. It was very surreal, as Frou-Frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires by Cocteau Twins was playing as we went along the via.

Some time later, the ambulance, fire-trucks, & police appeared behind us before I turned onto Apple Road & continued past the industrial zone, with the monumental Walmart Distribution Center.

The story-concept came to me last night, upon recalling that occurrence.

It is, really, a dangerously sharp curve, so I came to wonder whether it may see a higher number of crashes.

One side of the road is a wooded strip that drops-down to the Androscoggin River, the other a farm-field with those big, rolling irrigation machines. I've always liked the pastoral feel of the field, & with my general folkloric interests & recently-acquired Green Man attire, I got to envisioning.

As I perceive it so-far, the story, Lovers Arc, is as-follows:

Two residents of homes on the bend witness a fatal crash. They note the frequency of such catastrophes, & research the history of the spot, & how often crashes occur there; they find it is quite a staggering amount, dating back to the age of dirt-roads & horse-travel.

They create some warnings & whatnot to reduce incidents, which does seem to work. However, unbeknownst to them, they have angered a tutelary spirit.

A great storm arrives & destroys the warnings; another crash occurs during the tempest. When the residents go to assist, they are stopped by the imposing figure of the wight, a vegetation spirit, a woodwose... a Green Man.

The being informs the neighbors that, long before the scourge-street tore through the verdant land, they were able to travel through plants to visit their lover, a river-nymph. But, since the fertile ground was first rent asunder for a dirt-path, & unto now with hard asphalt, the two have been separated.

In angry retribution for this injustice, the spirit has used its magic to execute drivers it deems worthy (hateful, violent people).

The neighbors, pitying the poor lover-spirits, devise a plan. They build an arch over the road, upon which climbing plants are grown. Now, the spirit can visit the nymph one more.

The story ends with the two humans & two spirits sitting happily together atop Lovers Arc.

Above anything else, this is a story about love. Not only are the spirits reunited, but the neighbors find themselves in-love by the end. They knew each other, & each admired the other, but had never found the courage to act upon it before.

I should end here. It is, now, 1:11 AM, & I have to go into work early tomorrow (in at 8:30 AM, meaning I need to leave home by 7:15 at the latest).

My relationship with time is quite fickle. I am a notorious laggard, known to family, friends, work, & former romantic partner. It isn't out of any malice; I've always been that way. In elementary school, the staff called me "Pokey", as I was always the last one eating lunch in the cafeteria. Point being, I must ensure I am on-time tomorrow.

Anyhow, I am well. I feel the best I have in a long, long time.

I feel I am finally allowing myself to enjoy the happiness I deserve. I do deserve happiness; everyone does.

I have not been well, for a while. I have not been very fond of the way my life has been, despite my aspirations & dreams. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find another person so adept at combining inflated ego & self-righteousness with vehement self-loathing.

I've been called a narcissist, but I don't know that I am. I feel very strongly that I've done well to be a good person. It's not enough to be kind or generally decent. We must actively strive to do righteous good in our lives, for the wellbeing of all. It is a choice we must always focus on maintaining, & inspiring for others.

I think any person should be deeply in-tune with their potential, as well as their duty as a thinking being. As humans, it is our responsibility to serve as stewards for the Universe, as we are the thinking organs of that great organism, All That IS. It's simply a spiritual matter.

Or maybe that's just what a narcissist would say.

~Anyhow~

I will not allow myself to sleep before lifting some weights, & I still have to use the bathroom & wash up. The fresh-air from today, though, will send me off easily. Verily, I can gladly say, I will sleep contented & happy.

Take care, good folk. Be as well & joyous as you can be. If you cannot see it now, may it shine ever so brightly, soon.

Goodnight :)